Yes, I Get Angry - A Cancer/Life Update

Do you ever have one of those week, months... maybe even years where nothing seems to go right? You do the work, you dot your i's, cross your t's, you do what you are supposed to do in life and yet, it just seems like the world is caving in around you.

Truthfully? That is how I have felt since March. I am not one for expressing my feelings so much. My fitness journey? Sure. My struggles with cancer... a little more reserved, but I will still share. What I ate for dinner that night, you know I'll share that. But my feelings? Um, not often. One of my girlfriends and I were talking about that this weekend. Her and I are both the "keep the feelings in till they explode like Mount Vesuvius" kind of people. I am like that about a lot of emotions. It's hard for me to share about that.

So a life/cancer update, here we go: I found out about two weeks ago that I was in remission! Yay! This is so exciting. It is one more hurdle that I jumped to get rid of cancer and my family and I are stoked. We feel good about it, but we also got news that in order to fully prevent it from recurring, it would be in my best interest to go through another (BIG) surgery. One that will keep me down for the count for a few weeks and will be a life changing surgery (minorly, but still...) This surgery is not needed immediately, and I want to make sure everyone knows it is not life or death, it is just preventative. I want to wait until we move and I establish a team of physicians that I trust to have it done. When you have been through the healthcare system like I have in my life, you know that this is important. Not only that but I need to find a diabetes specialist who also specializes in cancer as well.... not easy to do in any area. Here in CO, it was a 4 hour drive to Denver. In FL it will most likely be a 2 hour drive to Tampa. So there is that, but the thing that has been really on my mind and the thing that keeps me up at night and wont let me sleep and the thing that I talk about the least is the financial strain this has put on our family.

I thought I was doing really well, keeping on top of our medical bills. (I say "our" because Corey and I are essentially going through this together, there is no "I" when you're going through cancer treatments, you have to be able to lean on someone) I worked hard through 10 weeks of radiation treatment that left me sick, tired, in pain.... to be able to pay the bills as they came in. Cancer treatment is not affordable. It is awfully expensive and we have insurance. I hate money. People say that "the people that say Money Is The Root of All Evil, don't have any" and I truly believe this!  I worked - at the preschool, coaching through Beachbody, teaching Piyo - whatever I could do to bring something to the table financially I did. I put on a happy face and worked through it so I could turn around and pay the hospital every penny I made. When I was done with treatments I was excited. I had stayed on top of everything and felt like I did a good job of nipping that all in the bud. We took a celebratory cruise in February to relax, forget our stress, forget I had cancer, to unwind and just be together as a family. It was perfect.

Then I got home and looked in the mailbox. I had 5 envelopes from the Gunnison Valley Healthcare System... 5. I thought: We've only been gone for 7 days what can all of these be. My heart sank as I opened them. Bills, all bills. More bills. I felt like I was going to explode. 4,593 .... 2,041 .... 1,297 ... 1,698 ... 751 ...  Remember when I said I felt like I had done everything right and yet the world was still caving in all around me. That is how I felt. I was scared to tell Corey. He already carried such a heavy financial burden since I wasn't bringing to the table what I normally did. (I shouldn't have been scared, he is the calm one between us when it comes to things like this and he just said "you can't cry and get mad about this, what was the alternative? Not doing treatment and dying?") I just didn't know what I could do to change things. Probably nothing. I eat right, I am fit, I am active, I live in a beautiful clean air state.... but you still think of the what ifs. I could not sleep at night because all I could think was I want to buy a house, I want to pay my bills, I want to keep my credit up, I don't know what I am going to do. 

Through the lack of sleep, (due in part to the financial stuff, moreso because my feet hurt so bad from the neuropathy (another great side effect of both Diabetes and where I had radiation done) the lack of ambition to help others set in and my Beachbody business was failing, I wasn't being the leader to my awesome team I should have been, I always felt like I was letting my leader down, I was moody with everyone - from the lack of sleep, the stress... I don't know, but I do know that somewhere in there my attitude changed from this positive, encouraging person I have worked so hard to become to a stressed out and irritable and sad person. THAT is not who I am. I even feel like my temper was short with Brody and I never want to be like that. Ever. I have learned to talk about my fears and my feelings. I was telling a few ladies at my church last week, kind of joking - well if I am being really honest, not joking at all - that I had heard another BB colleague of mine, a very well-respected and successful coach in the industry say how she would scavenge in her house for things she could return to wal-mart to be able to afford food that week and I was considering doing the same thing. It was then that I was told : IT IS OK TO NEED HELP. It's OK to take help. And it is most definitely OK to talk about our struggles instead of keeping them inside. 

They put together this fundraiser for me and I didn't talk about it for over a week. I could not possibly share this. I could not tell people I was struggling. I could not let that facade down that I have been holding up. That I can do it all on my own.... So I told my sister. And she shared. Then my other sister did too. Then a few friends. SO I wanted to post an update as to what is going on so I am totally transparent and honest here. 

I love that I have had so many people there for me over the past few months. I am truly blessed to have a great support system in my family and friends. I cannot say enough thanks. 

If you want to donate, here is the link. It is truly appreciated. 

Help Leanne Kick Cancer to the Curb for Good!

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If You See Me Around Town in My PJ's ...

I have come to realize that radiation is far more comfortable when I am in the comfort of my own PJ's. Haha, no seriously. I am all about comfort these days and have decided that PJ's are the way to go!  The problem - living in a super small town: I see people everywhere I go! I cannot go to the grocery store, wal-mart, or even to get the mail without seeing someone I know everywhere! So bear with me, because if I am out and about in town in PJ's it's probably radiation day or some kind of doctor visit!

Yep - that is pretty much me! 

It's been a while since I last wrote because I have been so so so sick. I have not had the strength or energy to even write, or do anything more than what is required by my job. I did promise updates though, so I will try harder! 

In other news, I got the results back from multiple ultrasounds as well as my surgery and they are 99% sure that they got all of the cancer, so that is fantastic news, however I am still so sick - I just cannot shake the Upper Respiratory Infection I have had since 10/15! I have gotten a shot of antibiotics 3 weeks in a row, and am maybe starting to feel better, but am no where near 100%.  Getting there though. I am still teaching Piyo class (and doing Piyo almost daily) weekly and truthfully, even though I am not feeling it prior to going - I feel SO much better than I did before. I think it's the endorphin's, it's got to be! Lesson learned - even though everyone is telling me to rest and don't do too much, exercise (low impact for now) is my outlet, Piyo is my workout, and it makes me feel better so I am still going to do it!!  

So I am going to go get in another pair of glorious flannel PJ's and cuddle up to Brody and Corey now - because I actually have to get dressed for work tomorrow. 

I am not sure I remember how!

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Radiation, Blood Sugars, Results, Recovery, and Halloween, Oh My!

So... it's been a week and a day since treatment # 1. I am tired. More tired than I thought was possible, but I also did a lot last week on top of treatment and surgery. Yesterday I had treatment #2 and it knocked me down for a good part of the day. Like full out, fell asleep while Corey was home for lunch and didn't even know he left, out of it.  My last week was full and restful at the same time.

I worked really hard to bring Piyo to Crested Butte, finally got a class of my own going and I wasn't about to stop it due to a little thing like surgery and radiation (haha, I am being sarcastic) but seriously, I really don't want to let it fall by the wayside so I taught on Thursday night. I was able to teach my full class - minus the piyo flips, power section (burpees and squat jumps), and knee pulls - but it was not a walk in the park by any means (and for that matter a walk in the park is not so easy either...). But that does not mean I am going to give up on my dreams or my lifestyle. Fitness is a HUGE part of who I am and I am not going to let this change me! A lot of people think I should spend all day, every day resting... and that is just not me. I am most comfortable when I am doing a good workout. (Yes, I am sleeping more than normal too, but I am not giving up my fitness!) Life is, and always will be about how you handle the curve balls God throws at you, right? So my thoughts are you can sit around and be sad or mad or defeated, or you can adjust your sails and move right along.

Friday was Halloween party day. First the preschool I do marketing and development for - Paradise Place had their pumpkin party. I can't even stress how cute these littles are or how lucky I am that I have this job. I seriously get to work on a website from home, come in and take photos of the kids, and work on ways to raise money for the school (we're a non-profit) I think about going into work feeling like I do, at my previous job and I don't know if I could handle the longer days, long commutes, traveling to clinics more than an hour away, and I just know I am lucky to be in my position.

Then it was time for Brody's school party.  In complete honesty I need to be thankful for how blessed my life is.  When I am working I am either coaching, taking photos of cute preschoolers, planning fundraising for them, or working on their website, doing photography sessions, and teaching Piyo. When I am not I get to go to school with the Brodster and experience all that I would never get to when I was working on the front range. So while my circumstances may not be the absolute best at this exact moment in time, I have a pretty good life. 

A few from Brody's Party: 

Anyways, the weekend came and trick or treat was Saturday. I started to get really sick on Thursday, but kept brushing it off. It was cold and windy, but we had a great time with some new friends. 

On Sunday I got really really sick. My doctors say the radiation, diabetes, and surgery all lowered my immune system and also amplify my respiratory infection. I did get a big shot of antibiotics Monday morning and feel much better today, but still so exhausted, and I cannot breathe. I have also been using a ton more insulin than normal, because of all of the craziness my body is going through. That is really driving me nuts.  Oye. 

All in all it is not entirely bad news: my results from the surgery came back with no cancerous cells on the outlying tissue so YAY!!  2 more rounds of radiation and I should be declared cancer free. For now I am going to keep on keeping on with my cannabis oils (mainly because they help me sleep while protecting my cells from harmful radiation), working out, getting rest, and eating clean-  because it truly does make me feel good! 

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Priorities - A Challenge

So much of changing your lifestyle is all about your priorities. I budget Shakeology into my monthly expenses. Well actually 2 (sometimes 3, sometimes 2+ supplements, or the 3-da refresh.... you get the picture) bags into my budget!! OMG IT'S SOOO EXPENSIVE..... yep that's what I constantly hear..... day in and day out. Let me tell you something: 

👎Cigarettes are Expensive
👎Alcohol is Expensive I don't care if you drink at home or at a bar.
👎Seven (they happen to be my favorite) Jeans are Expensive
👎Fast Food is way Expensive
👎Daily trips to 7-11 or Walgreens for snacks are Expensive
👎Eating out is Expensive (Duh!) And you never know what exactly is in your food at that point!

👎Diabetes is Expensive
👎Heart Disease is Expensive
👎Doctor Visits are Expensive
👎Hospital Visits are Expensive

Shakeology is not expensive when you invest in your health and take time to look and see where you are wasting $5 a day!

I challenge you to right down every single PENNY you spend for one week and see where your $$$$$$ goes. I have been taking a good hard look at my life lately and living in a SMALL town without a single fast food restaurant, without an affordable convenience store, without a Wal-Mart or Target nearby and was SHOCKED by how much money I didn't realize I was spending on BS.  We flush so much $$ down the toilet on unnecessary things. I know I'm not the only one out there. Everything lies in your priorities.

Drinking Shakeology has SAVED me $$$ not cost me more. No more spending $8 a morning on Starbucks, yep my grande cafe mocha with an extra shot of espresso and a croissant; or stopping into the gas station or 7-11 for a diet coke  or a Burger King (yeah, I prefer BK to McD's) Value meal ( Hahaha Value)!

Trust me when I say YOUR HEALTH IS WORTH MORE!!!

So next time you are debating weather or not to get that bag of Shakeology you have been wondering about or that fitness program that looks like fun, try saying this to yourself: 

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Yep, I have Type 1 Diabetes.... Here is What You Should Know and Why Shakeology and Beachbody Helped me!

I am a Type 1 diabetic and I want you to know a few things about me as a diabetic and as a faithful Shakeology drinker. It has changed my life as a diabetic and all I want to do is reach others with T1D and help them too!!

Here are some facts about Type 1 first and foremost: 

1. Diabetics try their best to live the most normal life possible. We can do anything anyone else can. We are in a lifelong struggle to define themselves in any other way but diabetic.

2. People with Type 1 Diabetes can’t make Insulin. Insulin, in people without diabetes, is a hormone made in the pancreas. It allows glucose in the bloodstream to be converted for use in the body as energy.

3. Excess glucose in the bloodstream damages body systems and is the root of diabetic complications. Having too much, or too little glucose in the blood is dangerous and can ultimately cause death. Keeping blood glucose levels within normal levels is the ultimate goal of people with diabetes but can be affected by food, exercise, illness, stress, and a whole bunch of other annoying, unpredictable events.  

4. They are not allergic to sugar. They balance what they eat by testing their blood glucose levels and taking insulin through injections. Yes, injections and finger pricks often hurt at first but we get used to it. 

5. Type 1 Diabetes is occurs when the Islets of Langerhans (insulin-producing cells in the pancreas) are attacked by the body.

6. Nobody understands why their bodies attack themselves. They did not get diabetes from their mothers who gained too much weight during pregnancy, from eating too much sugar, from exercising infrequently or from any other known reason. Please be careful not to confuse Type 1 with Type 2 Diabetes. People with Type 1 cannot exercise away their diabetes or eat better to "cure" it. 

7. We hate it when you offer the rest of the room cake and tell them they can’t have it and offer them a diet coke instead. They know you mean well, but you make them feel alienated and inherently different. Let them refuse cake if they want to, and let them eat cake if we choose. We know more than you about what we’re living with.

8. There is no such thing as ‘having diabetes really bad’. People with Diabetes choose to take care of themselves or not, or somewhere in between. Your uncle who ‘had diabetes so bad’ chose not to take care of himself and he lost his leg or went blind as a result. That being said, even the most tightly controlled diabetes reduces life span.

9. The cost of living INSURED with type 1- for me- is anywhere between 50-150 a month. (A few months ago it was 225 a month) The cost of living uninsured with diabetes can easily be 400 dollars per month or more.

10.  Preventative healthcare and education are the ideal weapons in the fight against diabetes. 

Here's what I can tell you about being on Shakeology and having Type 1 Diabetes:

1.  Since starting Shakeology my HgbA1C level has consistently been in the 5-6 range. Before using Shakeology it was in the 9-12 range. 

2.  Since exercising daily and drinking my shakes daily I have more control over my blood sugars and see less spikes in glucose levels. 

3. My LDL (bad Cholesterol) is at 110 and my HDL (good Cholesterol) is 50. 

4. I do not get sick as often at all. Being a diabetic, this is extremely important - most times when I get sick, I get really sick and a simple cold can turn into an upper respiratory infection or pneumonia. 

5. It is low on the Glycemic Index: Which means that carbs enter the blood stream at a lower rate than foods higher on the GI.  This keeps blood sugar levels steady and allow us to use those carbs as energy more easily. Any number under 55 is considered low - Shakeology is at 24.  

Low GI diets help people loose and manage weight.

Low GI diets can increase the body's sensitivity to insulin.

Low GI carbs help improve diabetes management. 

The reduce hunger and prolong physical endurance. 

Here is an old video I did while raising money for Tour De Cure in 2008 to educate people on Type 1 diabetes. Forgive me... this was 7 years ago. 

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These Protein Balls Are a Great Post-Workout Snack!

When you need a quick post-workout snack, something with protein and carbs, look no further. Made with only three ingredients you probably already have in your kitchen, these protein balls couldn't be easier to whip up. At 47 calories per ball, a three-piece serving is 141 calories and offers 8.1 grams of protein and 24 grams of carbs. Yet a serving is also low in sugar — just 5.1 grams AND is a low glycemic index snack!

INGREDIENTS

1 cup rolled oats
1 serving vanilla protein powder (I use SHAKEOLOGY)
1 large banana

DIRECTIONS

1. Pour rolled oats and protein powder into a food processor or high quality blender such as a blendtec or vitamix.   Turn on for a minute until the oats are slightly chopped but not completely smooth.
2. Add the banana, and turn on until a coarse yet pliable dough forms. 
3. Roll into 12 balls, and place in a reusable container.
4. Store leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge.

Below is the nutritional info for one protein ball:

Of course, feel free to jazz up this basic recipe by mixing in a little dried fruit, chopped almonds, or dark chocolate chips — if you do, just add a little extra banana or some raw honey to maintain the pliable consistency.

Enjoy!

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Get a Little More Sleep in Your Life

Wow, I got home from work today - did homework with Brody, fed him dinner, read him a book, put Paw Patrol on ..... and fell asleep for 2 hours! My body was craving some much needed zzzzzz's.  Maybe it is the fact that my new workout has me so sore I have trouble getting comfy, maybe because I am studying a lot these days, or maybe it is because I have a hard time sleeping when Corey is gone, but whatever it is I have got to start trying harder to get in my 8 hours. I know I am not the only one. So today, a little branch off from fitness posting, to tell you why sleep is a major necessity!

First there is an increased risk For Depression And Anxiety: People who are consistently sleep deprived experience greater difficulty regulating their mood, increasing the risk for depression and anxiety. It’s not always clear what triggers what--in some cases insomnia is a symptom of depression, while in others, it is one of the contributing factors. What the research is clear about, however, is that chronic sleep deprivation significantly aggravates your ability to get and stay happy. Interestingly, even if you aren’t experiencing depression, researchers have found that the signs of being sleep deprived (such as a drawn face, colorless or dull skin, and under-eye bags) make you appear depressed to others. I know that is not the way I want to be perceived!

 I left my keys, where...?!?
Part of the process of making a memory last a lifetime happens when we are sleeping. If you aren’t getting in enough hours, your memory starts to suffer. But I don’t have to tell you that. You already know that when you have more hours awake than sleeping, you misplace your keys, forget to meet your friend for dinner, and wander around the grocery store aimlessly, unsure of what it was you thought you desperately needed.

 My skin could use a lift!
 In addition to feeling not-so-cute because of the under-eye bags, chronic sleep deprivation also manifests itself on your skin as acne, lines, and dullness. Not getting enough sleep interrupts your body’s regenerating abilities, resulting in less collagen production and compromising your skin’s elasticity. In other words, if you aren’t getting enough sleep, you might start looking your age (and then some) at an accelerated rate. Additionally, when your body’s ability to regenerate is interrupted, you can either develop or see a worsening of conditions like psoriasis, eczema, and any skin-related allergies.

 Say good-bye to a lot of hair :( 
I’m already dealing with hair loss due to my Type 1 Diabetes,  But having your hair fall out in chunks or thin suddenly also indicates bodily stress--and ongoing sleep deprivation is immensely taxing on your system.

You may wake up with a tummy-ache
 The number-one sign for me of a really poor night’s sleep is a huge, relentless stomach ache in the morning. Sleeping resets the gut, and without this break, your digestive system can end up seriously angry.

You may get to see your Dentist more regularly
 It turns out that part of nodding off gently for most of us involves some gnashing and clenching of our teeth. It’s only when we enter a REM cycle that our jaw relaxes and we cool it with the teeth grinding. But if you’re not staying asleep long enough to progress to REM, you are experiencing higher amounts of dental stress. Lack of sleep can be a contributing factor to your pearly whites degrading or your TMJ flaring up.

So, What Can You Do About It?
 Whether you’re an insomniac or life circumstances don’t permit you much time for rest, even the best sleep hygiene won’t always work. I’ve learned the best thing I can do is not stress over it. You will sleep eventually. In the meantime, rest when you can, drink lots of water, do some yoga or Pilates, and some deep breathing techniques.

 Good luck and goodnight!

 www.beachbodycoach.com/leannemarie1081

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3 Yoga Poses to Help You Sleep Like a Baby

Forget your to- do list, worries, and troubles and let your busy day go with these 3 incredibly relaxing yoga poses. Do them right before you climb into bed .... Deep sleep, here you come. 

1. Legs-Up-the-Wall Pose

Sit on the floor with one side of your body grazing wall. Swing legs up against the wall and slowly lower your back and head to the floor, keeping legs straight. Allow your hands to fall out to sides, palms facing up. Breathe deeply, relaxing into the pose. Hold for 1 to 5 minutes.

2. Child's Pose

Kneel on your mat with your big toes touching and knees spread mat-width apart.

Lower torso between knees, bringing your forehead to rest on mat and extending arms. Breathe deeply, holding for up to 1 minute or even longer.

3. Happy Baby Pose

Lie on your mat and pull your knees to your chest.

Place hands on the outsides of your feet, opening knees wider than your torso. Press feet into hands while pulling down on feet, creating resistance. Breathe deeply, holding for up to 1 minute.

That's it! Do these poses before bed nightly for a calm and relaxing pre-sleep routine and you will be drifting off to dreamland before you know it!

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